"Men are disturbed, not by the things that happen, but by their opinion of the things that happen."
---Epictetus
"When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'.'"
---Unknown
"A man may be a fool and not know it, but not if he is married."
---H.L. Mencken
"No matter how happily a woman may be married, it always pleases her to discover that there is a nice man who wishes she were not."
---H.L. Mencken
"Reality is a hallucination brought on by lack of alcohol."
---Unknown
"Don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love."
---Woody Allen
"A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments, soccer games, romances, best friends, location of friend's houses, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house."
---Unknown
"A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well-known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized."
---Fred Allen
"God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time."
---Robin Williams (on Clinton/Lewinsky affair)
"If you're going to make every game a matter of life or death, you're going to have a lot of problems. For one thing, you'll be dead a lot."
---Dean Smith
"Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want."
---Tori Filler
"Raising a kid is part joy and part guerilla warfare."
---Ed Asner
"You know your children have grown up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they are going."
---Unknown
"Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen or oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer."
---Dave Berry
"It's better to leave while staying is welcomes than to stay while leaving is welcomed."
---Unknown
"Isn't it amazing how nice people are to you when they know you're leaving?"
---Unknown
"A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water."
---Unknown
"Everyone has the ability of making someone happy, some by entering the room, others by leaving it."
---Unknown
"If you think something small can't make a difference, try going to sleep with a mosquito in the room."
---Unknown
"Pro and con are opposites, that fact is clearly seen. If progress means to move forward, then what does congress mean?"
---Nipsey Russel
"My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right."
---Ashleigh Brilliant
"Those who think they know everything are very annoying to those of us who do."
---Terry Marchal
"Successful people are very lucky. Just ask any failure."
---Michael Levine
"Never miss a chance to keep your mouth shut."
---Robert Newton Peck
"Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep."
---Scott Adams
"A smart person knows all the rules so he can break them wisely."
---Lubna Azmi
"Ambition is a lame excuse for the ones that are not brave enough to be lazy..."
"Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius -- and a lot of courage -- to move in the opposite direction."
---Albert Einstein
"Never stop after a success & never stop trying after a failure."
---Unknown
"A good question is never answered. It is not a bolt to be tightened into place but a seed to be planted and to bear more seed toward the hope of greening the landscape of the idea."
---John Ciardi
"Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life."
---Michael Sinz
"What you are is God's gift to you, what you become is your gift to God."
"Don't be afraid of opposition; Remember a kite rises against, not with the wind."
"I always try to go the extra mile at work, but my boss always finds me and brings me back."
"Fat people are harder to kidnap."
"Things do not change; we change."
"If you don't like something change it; if you can't change it, change the way you think about it."
"The collapse of character begins with compromise."
"You have to lose many a battle to win the war."
"It's not important whether you are right or wrong, it more important
how much you lose when you are wrong and how much money you make when you are right".
"Dogs can indeed build billion dollar companies like Vodafone."
"The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should therefore be regarded as a criminal offense"
-- Edgar Djikstra
"Loneliness is a special enjoyment when chosen by ourself !,
But hard to digest when gifted by others..."
---Epictetus
"When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'.'"
---Unknown
"A man may be a fool and not know it, but not if he is married."
---H.L. Mencken
"No matter how happily a woman may be married, it always pleases her to discover that there is a nice man who wishes she were not."
---H.L. Mencken
"Reality is a hallucination brought on by lack of alcohol."
---Unknown
"Don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love."
---Woody Allen
"A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments, soccer games, romances, best friends, location of friend's houses, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house."
---Unknown
"A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well-known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized."
---Fred Allen
"God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time."
---Robin Williams (on Clinton/Lewinsky affair)
"If you're going to make every game a matter of life or death, you're going to have a lot of problems. For one thing, you'll be dead a lot."
---Dean Smith
"Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want."
---Tori Filler
"Raising a kid is part joy and part guerilla warfare."
---Ed Asner
"You know your children have grown up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they are going."
---Unknown
"Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen or oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer."
---Dave Berry
"It's better to leave while staying is welcomes than to stay while leaving is welcomed."
---Unknown
"Isn't it amazing how nice people are to you when they know you're leaving?"
---Unknown
"A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water."
---Unknown
"Everyone has the ability of making someone happy, some by entering the room, others by leaving it."
---Unknown
"If you think something small can't make a difference, try going to sleep with a mosquito in the room."
---Unknown
"Pro and con are opposites, that fact is clearly seen. If progress means to move forward, then what does congress mean?"
---Nipsey Russel
"My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right."
---Ashleigh Brilliant
"Those who think they know everything are very annoying to those of us who do."
---Terry Marchal
"Successful people are very lucky. Just ask any failure."
---Michael Levine
"Never miss a chance to keep your mouth shut."
---Robert Newton Peck
"Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep."
---Scott Adams
"A smart person knows all the rules so he can break them wisely."
---Lubna Azmi
"Ambition is a lame excuse for the ones that are not brave enough to be lazy..."
"Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius -- and a lot of courage -- to move in the opposite direction."
---Albert Einstein
"Never stop after a success & never stop trying after a failure."
---Unknown
"A good question is never answered. It is not a bolt to be tightened into place but a seed to be planted and to bear more seed toward the hope of greening the landscape of the idea."
---John Ciardi
"Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life."
---Michael Sinz
"What you are is God's gift to you, what you become is your gift to God."
"Don't be afraid of opposition; Remember a kite rises against, not with the wind."
"I always try to go the extra mile at work, but my boss always finds me and brings me back."
"Fat people are harder to kidnap."
"Things do not change; we change."
"If you don't like something change it; if you can't change it, change the way you think about it."
"The collapse of character begins with compromise."
"You have to lose many a battle to win the war."
"It's not important whether you are right or wrong, it more important
how much you lose when you are wrong and how much money you make when you are right".
"Dogs can indeed build billion dollar companies like Vodafone."
"The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should therefore be regarded as a criminal offense"
-- Edgar Djikstra
"Loneliness is a special enjoyment when chosen by ourself !,
But hard to digest when gifted by others..."
